For the last few days,i was haunted by a little girl..I met her last month, during a train journey to my home town..She was seated opposite to me and looked dull,tired and worried about something..i really didn't care at first,since,her brother was sitting next to me (i picked this from their conversation) So,i decided to leave it to them and let my mind loose..
But,how long can you keep your eyes off from what's happening infront of you? Just five minutes before the train reached my destination,i found the reason..she was abused by an old 'man' (i don't think he qualifies to be called a man) sitting next to her..I was shocked and hurt to see this..but,it was too late for me to respond as the train stopped and i had to get down.. i just had one choice left..i gave her my seat..she looked so relieved and thankful to sit next to her brother..i still can't believe how that criminal managed to do this in public, without being noticed..and i felt really sorry for the girl who suffered it for more than two hours.. :(
Life is not easy for a sexually abused child..especially a girl child..it ruins the whole system of mind..you are no longer a happy child after being abused,since you face an inevitable depression after you experience this..and don't wonder how i'm commenting on this topic with somuch authority..i'm also a victim..not once,but several times..but,thats not going to be the highlight of this blog..i'm more concerned about the level of deterioration of our modern society..i'm not sure about the global picture on this issue..but here in india,it is a silent evil,spreading like a virus..but often covered up and none gets to see the real magnitude..
India is a country with rich tradition..and unlike the western culture,india is known for it's strong foundations in spirituality and morality..a place where women is worshipped as the divine incarnation of universal mother is no longer the same for the last few decades..sexual crimes against women and children are shooting up with every single year..and at the same time,the laws to protect women & children are also being introduced every year..but in vain.With a population hitting 1.2 billion..i do understand how easy it is to break laws which are weakly implemented or not implemented at all..
According to our scriptures,women deserve an inevitable position in determining the destiny of a family.society,country and ultimately the world itself..Hindu sriptures declare them to be the foundation of a good social setup..and it warns of a great disaster that could spring up when women are mistreated..and why? Because, women have a greater role to play..and being a mother is one among the many amazing things that a woman can be proud of..and i don't have to list out other facts..just think about your mother!
Recently, a top police official was targeted for his remark about the reason why crimes against women are on the rise..what he found was this "provacative and obscene dressing"..and i still don't understand what is so wrong about his remark! Of course,it is up to each individual to choose what he or she should wear..but,criminals don't respect your individuality and are driven by baser insticts! So,why deny the fact that you are putting yourself in the risk zone while expressing yourself? Morals and codes of conduct are not to be compromised while holding up individuality..and that can cause instability to society..those who disagree shall reflect on the social evolution..which would show you why the world looks so insecure at the moment..
Debates and discussions can only take the society so far,but not further..that's why i believe in individuals..you and I can make a change..restoring moral values and injecting the same to the social stream through effective ways, can bring about a social revolution..it should start from every home..be devoted to your mother and wife..and respect womanhood..show them why men are special!
Though i don't totally agree with this quote,i found it funny enough to share it with you..:)
"Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece! "
-anonymous (lacked guts?!!)
But,how long can you keep your eyes off from what's happening infront of you? Just five minutes before the train reached my destination,i found the reason..she was abused by an old 'man' (i don't think he qualifies to be called a man) sitting next to her..I was shocked and hurt to see this..but,it was too late for me to respond as the train stopped and i had to get down.. i just had one choice left..i gave her my seat..she looked so relieved and thankful to sit next to her brother..i still can't believe how that criminal managed to do this in public, without being noticed..and i felt really sorry for the girl who suffered it for more than two hours.. :(
Life is not easy for a sexually abused child..especially a girl child..it ruins the whole system of mind..you are no longer a happy child after being abused,since you face an inevitable depression after you experience this..and don't wonder how i'm commenting on this topic with somuch authority..i'm also a victim..not once,but several times..but,thats not going to be the highlight of this blog..i'm more concerned about the level of deterioration of our modern society..i'm not sure about the global picture on this issue..but here in india,it is a silent evil,spreading like a virus..but often covered up and none gets to see the real magnitude..
India is a country with rich tradition..and unlike the western culture,india is known for it's strong foundations in spirituality and morality..a place where women is worshipped as the divine incarnation of universal mother is no longer the same for the last few decades..sexual crimes against women and children are shooting up with every single year..and at the same time,the laws to protect women & children are also being introduced every year..but in vain.With a population hitting 1.2 billion..i do understand how easy it is to break laws which are weakly implemented or not implemented at all..
According to our scriptures,women deserve an inevitable position in determining the destiny of a family.society,country and ultimately the world itself..Hindu sriptures declare them to be the foundation of a good social setup..and it warns of a great disaster that could spring up when women are mistreated..and why? Because, women have a greater role to play..and being a mother is one among the many amazing things that a woman can be proud of..and i don't have to list out other facts..just think about your mother!
I don't advocate equality of men and women..since,i find it absolutely senseless(personal opinion,for clarity,please read on..!) Why do we shout for equality and why don't we accept men and women as two special beings..! I always found them equally special and not equal! Man is blessed with a stronger physique so that he may protect woman & a woman is blessed with a great emotionl strength so that she may support man! That's the way i see things..and it's all about mutual respect than equality..i don't think feminists do any good to a woman than a loving husband,father or a caring son..
Recently, a top police official was targeted for his remark about the reason why crimes against women are on the rise..what he found was this "provacative and obscene dressing"..and i still don't understand what is so wrong about his remark! Of course,it is up to each individual to choose what he or she should wear..but,criminals don't respect your individuality and are driven by baser insticts! So,why deny the fact that you are putting yourself in the risk zone while expressing yourself? Morals and codes of conduct are not to be compromised while holding up individuality..and that can cause instability to society..those who disagree shall reflect on the social evolution..which would show you why the world looks so insecure at the moment..
Debates and discussions can only take the society so far,but not further..that's why i believe in individuals..you and I can make a change..restoring moral values and injecting the same to the social stream through effective ways, can bring about a social revolution..it should start from every home..be devoted to your mother and wife..and respect womanhood..show them why men are special!
Though i don't totally agree with this quote,i found it funny enough to share it with you..:)
"Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece! "
-anonymous (lacked guts?!!)
Thanks for choosing to write on this Sachin...
ReplyDelete"Recently, a top police official was targeted for his remark about the reason why crimes against women are on the rise..what he found was this "provacative and obscene dressing"..and i still don't understand what is so wrong about his remark!"
ReplyDeleteI can explain this one. :) (I'm from the LAF page.) There are two types of rape. There is rape for power, usually of a stranger or someone whom the rapist wants to subdue or hurt for some reason, and there is rape for lust, in which the rapist desires sex and believes falsely that he has been given the appropriate signals to proceed.
When policemen (or anybody else) try to warn women about the latter, feminists come screaming out of the woodwork to claim that they were referring to the former.
No, what you wear is unlikely to deter the former, the rapist looking for pain and power. However, if you want to avoid becoming a victim of someone who thought he was entitled to having sex with you, the way that you dress and behave is vital to sending out the right communication signals and letting him know clearly that you are off-limits.
Of course, dressing badly doesn't excuse rape. But it does invite rape, as surely as leaving your house unlocked and valuables in clear view invites theft. We don't refuse to prosecute a thief who broke into an unlocked house, but we do believe that the owner should have been more careful.
Thank you somuch for your brilliant explanation Ms.Rose! I hope,you will take this message to everyone involved in the movement..:)
DeleteThank you and congratulations to give such a great blog post. "Dressing badly doesn't excuse rape. But it does invite rape, as surely as leaving your house unlocked and valuables in clear view invites theft". It's a reality
ReplyDeleteThank you sir..for your valuable appreciation and time..hope you will continue to comment on my blogs..:)
Deletei feel equality and mutual respect go hand in hand.if there is mutual respect and acceptance then there is no need to reserve seats for women in a bus or a train(it may be inequality as far as men are concerned but they have nobody else but themselves to blame for this).it is indeed sad that in a land where women are worshiped and are treated as a holy or divine are exploited and cannot stand up for their right.
ReplyDeletei appreciate you writing on this topic.i dream to see all men coming out demanding an "equally special" status for women one day like yourself.maybe you will make a fine husband one day :)
thank you for your comments and wishful thinking on my future..:)A fine husband is not a self existing entity..as I have already explained above,man & woman should complement eachother..that's the way nature has designed them..God bless you!
Deletegood thoughts sachin,
ReplyDeleteif we take a quick stride through the lanes ranging from epic age to present day ultra modern era, we will find that apsaras of heaven had been raped n abused by demons, this continues till today,embarassingly intensified to a worse degree.
nevertheless monarchy, autocracy, dictatorship or democracy... it is preached among all human races that "men is superior to women." the chauvinist - "the mannish"
The change has to be geared from this summit! all of us including feminists & advocates of chauvinism should kindly gulp in a fact that is, neither man nor woman is superior to each other, rather they are COMPLIMENTARY to each other.
secondly the pivotal problem is sex starvation among the middle aged men in the indian society!The concept of sex should be changed from a mere process of reproduction most importantly amid the women folk, this denial creates frustrstion & prompts the men to go out to satisify their sexual needs, as approaching sex workers directly for the same may adversly affect & tarnish their reputation, so they get into abusing other women.
thirdly parents should not inflict taboos into the children's mind regarding sexuality, and should give adequate awareness inorder to avoid children turning into perverts by accessing to outside sources such as the ridiculous porn movies magazines etc.
lastly there are variegated types of people in a society, we cannot rectify each and every person, so prevention is better than cure. we can take caution in our dressing style. Men are more vulnerable to visual impacts, even a normal adult get sexually arouse when he see a woman wearing a sexy attire, in that case those are sex starving & mentally perverted ,for sure will turn their claws and tooth towards her.
A society without crime is impossible bcoz humans are basically brute as john locke said in his social contract theory.it can be only curbed to an extend!
NOTE: dear mothers, please don't teach your daughters to subdue eveything and keep silent to all the violence against her, rather teach your -
"sons to subdue their sexual appetite abit & respect womenhood!" because today it may a some girl but tomorrow it can be ur daughter, wife or sister!!!
Thank you for this detailed comment on the issue! People like you can do a lot more to keep this evil out of the society..it's importanat to do our part..and spread the message through our actions..thank you somuch for reading and expressing your perspective on this..hope you will continue the efforts..:)
DeleteThis is a very strong work and you have done an amazing job. It is so heartening to know a male perspective on this issue!
ReplyDeleteThank you somuch for your appreciation ..:)It's more heartening to see people like you, found it worth reading! :)
DeleteHaii Sachin..
ReplyDeleteAs the long line of appreciations evidently explicate, indeed yes, you've worked on a relevent piece of fact and moulded a worthy article. Good!! Keep it up!!
But @ the same time it would be pertinent to note regarding the introductory part that, the girl that is haunting you, apparently portrays the pathetic condition of womanhood today. Silence is gold and speech is silver. But let me paraphrase a few words in ma mother toungue, 'adhikamayal amruthum visham'. Silence is not always gold. Itz not the best tool against violence. Man and woman here, particularily the victim of the aforementioned instance of your post and her brother (so called) should learn to react and respond at the right time in the right degree against the 'right wrong'. Every action should have an equal and opposite reaction then and there itself. Late reactions against such ill - mannered acts encompassed of interalia burning speeches, awareness meetings, press conference etc can do nothing than a little spark ignited at the demanded circumstance does. How can a woman tolerate such an abuse for 2 hours. Two hours is not a short span of time. Two hours means 120 minutes. Two hours means 7200 seconds. If, if at all she respected herself, thought about the womanhood for a single second and raised her voice against that pervert, that single second she spared would have brought a change. Not a revolution. But a change. When a man abuses 10 girls and the 10th girl responds, makes a negative vibration against these perverted actions he would dare to touch a 11th girl. And the so called brother of the scene - he is the one who is least worthy to be called a 'man' in my words. No wonder the flesh eaters abuse women.
I am a woman. But I am not a feminist. I'm a law abiding Indian Citizen. I wish to speak with that locus standi. With every respect to womanhood, let me turn the cot. Every coin has two sides. I would dissent from the opinion that mothers should teach their sons to subdue their sexual apetite. This perverted lust is not merely confined to men. As the known words say, 'behind every successful man, there is a woman'. Even in cases of sexual abuse on woman, a procecutrix and the rapist are not the only characters. Behind the curtain, we have the director of the play. A woman dressed in the attire of a pimp. This is not my mere imaginations. Not what I say. Res ipsa loquitor. Things speak for itself. Turn the pages of the newspapers and u'l find it. From the early American criminal trials to the pathetic events of the present scenario (to quote Kiliroor) that stage in the God's own Country. Love for lucre has taken down the love and respect for woomanhood from a segment of woman. Please note only a segment. Even in the epics we have Menaka with her feet to the rythmn as a tool against Viswamithra. We are all familiar with how a sight towards Lord Vishnu by Godess Lakshmi brought a fight between the former's three wives and Ganga and Saraswathi had to part from Lord Vishnu. In most of the instances, from history and fairy tales to reality it is a woman who digs pit for another woman.
In my viewpoint, both the men and women should learn to control their sexual lusts. When that becomes impossible, the law should step in. As the regulator of peace and order. Against the anti social elements. Our corrupted law should attain a backbone. Our Law should be rigid. Our Law should be blindfolded. Our Law should impart justice. People should have faith in Law. Law should protect people.
Let me wind up. In a nutshell, this is all what i have to say. Its easy to criticise and put the blame on manhood and womanhood. Let us simply do our part. Apart from silence, a simple response to the injustice we see before our eyes. Indeed, everything is difficult before it is easy. Still, give it a try and sit back. U'l see the change..!!
Good Luck :)
Till this day,your comment was in the list of spam comments (it was automatically identified as a spam by google! don't know what went wrong!) But i'm absolutely sorry for not noticing this till date..your observations shouldn't have gone unnoticed..my apologies..and i still believe that it's not a late addition to the comments list..because the issue is as burning as ever..thank you for your wonderful observations and time..please continue to respond to my posts :)
DeleteNice Presentation
ReplyDeletethank you.. :) keep reading..
DeleteA gurl being abused for two hours!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOmg.... Shez not even worth to be in the womanhood. Yourself and her brother.. Shame on both of you.. It is better that You guyz had removed your penis and changed your sex. Anyone can sympathise........ Take pity....... Write Articles like thiss....... As you have written at the end of this article, even You lacked guts to open your mouth on such violence.....
hope you read the second para of the above post..please read it before responding in such an abusive language.. :)
DeleteI did not mean to use any abusive language. But felt people who saw it should have handled the man properly. Thats it.
ReplyDeleteI understand your point..but as i already mentioned in this blogpost,it was too late for me to respond..my reaction would have been quite different if the incident got my attention a bit more earlier..and don't feel that i'm a non reacting human..if i was,i would have never written on this topic..and my blog is not intended for my personal glory..i dont choose readers..but,the readers choose me..hope you understand my intentions..thank you
DeleteThanks brother for a nice blog. I really want everyone to read your views in this topic.As you mentioned above, mutual respect& understandind are the core elements of a good life.besides, parents should teach their children for being courteous and how to well behave in the society from their early childhood.we should teach them about moral values.keep writing.Thank you:)
ReplyDeleteThank you sister..for your valuable time :) Keep reading :)
Delete